Change of Direction: To God and Away From God

Out of necessity at the time, I turned once again to God.

I rededicated my life to follow Jesus in August of 1970.  I started to attend a church which was thriving and filled with young people.  At first my husband attended but later decided it was not for him.  I continued to attend church regularly and became involved in prayer groups and helping out with some clerical work. For 18 years I continued to be faithful at church and in my relationship with Jesus. Both of my daughters attended Sunday School and later on church with me.

Circumstances changed in my life and I finally got up the courage to leave my husband of over 18 years..  I was bringing up my two daughters, in their teens alone. The oldest was soon to leave home.  I felt that given my circumstances, that I should have more support from the church.  Whether this was justified or not, the fact is that I decided to leavethe church.  I even said that “I know I’m throwing the baby out with the bath water, so to speak but I just can’t go to church anymore”  I also said, “But I never will stop believing in Jesus”.

It did not happen all at once, but after I left church it didn’t take long to give up both my scripture reading and my prayer life, the core of my fellowship with God.

I wonder if, the reason why most of the people that leave church, is due to resentments, disillusionment and/or unanswered  prayers.  I had been disappointed in the church  and some people. My prayers were unanswered for my marriage and my husband.

I technically became what is known among Christian circles,  a “backslider”

During the next 24 years, I detoured along a few paths, I never would have considered, had I been still attending church and having a relationship with Jesus.  Why didn’t God call me back?  Did I not see or hear? or was He silent?

I won’t go into details about those two decades.   Suffice to say, that from time to time when I was troubled, I’d cry out to God but that was always short lived. I still had a spiritual hunger, even if I didn’t recognize it at the time.


About Margo

Like to write, read, take pictures
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