Today is the last day of a rather interesting year. I suppose this is the day many of us do an evaluation, a review of the past year. What was good about it and what was not so good.
This year has been one of much change for me. There has been losses , pain, gains and a renewal as well. A real mixed bag.
When the new year started I was vacationing in Hawaii. Due to pain I had been enduring for over 3 years my mobility was limited, yet I enjoyed the vacation to the maximum. The following month I was going in for my first hip replacement surgery and 3 months later, I was going to have my other hip replaced. I was optimistic that my life would get better after the recovery period.
Little did I know the ways that my life would improve! I was looking for physical changes in my body but as it happened, I had a spiritual renewal as well.
During those quiet days and weeks after surgery, I had more time to read and think than usual. I would get different ideas coming to me to read or reread certain books. I read The Pilgrim’s Progress by John Bunyan. This story really spelled it out about following and persevering in our faith along the Christian path. Had I been doing this, the past 24 years? The answer was an alarming ‘No’!
I next, read some of C.S. Lewis’ books about his conversion to Christianity and his subsequent walk with God.
Along with these books, I managed to find a book written about my former Pastor. As I read the first part of the book, I was mentally nodding along, remembering some of those incidents written in the book. Then I got to the part of the book where, I was no longer part of anymore. It was at that point that I felt such remorse and regret for all those lost years. I never stopped believing in the redemption in Christ but I had lost my relationship with Him. Oh what, grief I felt over turning away from Him all those years. I asked God to forgive me and recommitted my life to Him.
As soon as I was physically able, I started once again attending church and becoming joined to the body of believers.
Loss, this year was due to misunderstanding with a friend and her refusal to accept my desire to keep this friendship. Looking back now, I see this as part of God’s plan. She was opposed to Christianity and probably would have dropped me anyway. The saying, “When one door closes and another one opens” was so true for me this year. I reconnected with a dear Christian friend. This friendship has been a real blessing for both of us. We have seen miraculous answers to our prayers.
I have also gained some wonderful friends in my new Church. I am learning so much from this wonderful community of believers.
All in all 2012 has been a pivotal year for me, changes in my heart, where it really counts. What more could I ask.